The truth is that i do not remember the day that i was born, nor do i remember the day that i walked for the first time, but i still remember you, i still remember being close to death, and i still remember the things that i have done that have hurt so many people. Yet i am still here, still struggling to change who i am, because these fast few saul’s have not been working out, yet in each one of them there is something good, but not enough to supplement the fact that i am a disaster when it comes to love, life, and logistics. The only thing left for me to do is conquer and destroy, sadly that is really the only thing I’m good at, many people would desire to have that as a aptitude in their life, but i see it as a curse. A curse that not only has haunted me my whole life, but it has also destroyed me when i believed in love, when i believed in glory, when believed in greatness, it came back and devoured me like a lion to it’s pray. Without warning life came back in a steady pace and took what was most dear to me, like if it was waiting for me to gain trust in myself again, then without thinking on it’s plan of attack it came at me and put me back into reality. For now, i live in dismay waiting to find a way to liberate myself from this curse that i call a life. Nothing goes right, and nothing goes expected to plan, the only thing that does occur is the sadness in my heart for i have lost family, friends, and partnerships that i once thought would  last a lifetime and much more. The only thing true, and the only thing that is valid, is my idea of finding a way out, but sometimes to cancel the failure in life, first you must find yourself on a path that only leads you into the depths of that failure, more than likely our lives will be concentrated around that failure. Then without a single thought, our lives will once again gain a sense of perspective, as to what goals we must reach, what we must accomplish, and how we will celebrate our victory. And i understand that what i am saying may not make sense at the moment but as you further yourself in life you will understand that sometimes to fail, that is what will get us the victory that we cherish in our hearts. And we must take in consideration that a great victory, the one that will bring joy to us the most, is that but only a Victory that has been followed by years of defeat, for it has great meaning for it’s a break in time and in our life, for it represents the lighting of a new era, and is what we hope to achieve from that point forward.

Written by: Saul Gutierrez

Truman High school – Freshman year 2005- English class of Mr. Daniel hick’s